Episode 13.2: You Don’t Know Your Bonobos
Christa and Sarah leap into Part 2 of the terrible marriage book, “Love & Respect” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, released in 2004. In this episode, they attempt to tackle Eggerich’s CHAIRS prescription for floundering marriages, Conquest, Hierarchy, Authority, Insight, Respect and of course, Sexuality, but find it difficult amidst the many highly-problematic and contradictory ideas underwriting his theory. They try.
This episode focuses on the issues that arise when partners are told to reduce each other to ‘pink’ or ‘blue’, and points at some of the misogynistic underpinnings that keep Eggerichs theory afloat…ones that can lend themselves to abuse, isolation, and stunted growth.
Episode 13.1: Buckle Up for Love & Respect
Christa and Sarah return to an evangelical favourite: bad marriage books. Whether this journey continues on to additional bad marriage books, nobody knows, but for now they start with discussing Dr. Emerson Eggerich’s much-adored “Love & Respect” 2004 release which they both had read (and accepted) prior to marriage.
This episode delves into Dr. Emerson’s theory about love and respect that he claims is god-revealed, how women and men can save their marriages if they accept their essentialist roles and deepest (differing) needs, the overarching themes of the book, and the first introductory chapters. If you are not in favour of rants about complementarianism and essentialist tropes, these episodes are not for you.
Episode 12: One Bad Apple
Christa and Sarah take an uncomfortable deep dive into the Adam and Eve story and the underlying teachings perpetuated regarding obedience, purity, punishment, and forgiveness.
They have an honest discussion about deep theological flaws and what the Eden story - as told by evangelicalism - reveals about God’s character, and discuss what true justice and an actually loving framework should have looked like for God’s children.
Episode 11: Hillsong & Ducatis
Not wanting to miss out on discussing the impacts of Hillsong’s far-reaching culture and mega-church experiences in general, Christa and Sarah share their thoughts on FX’s “The Secrets of Hillsong” documentary and the undergirding values perpetuated by mega-church structures.
From Christa’s own 10-year stint in a mega-church, to looking at broader cultural norms that make “mega” feel natural to modern evangelicals, they question the lack of discernment, and poke at the drivers of mega-ministries: endless growth, expansionism, and monoculture.
Episode 10: The B-Side (Christa)
Sarah and Christa continue the discussion based on the Religious Trauma Syndrome symptoms outlined by Dr. Marlene Winell’s three articles discussed on the previous episodes ( https://www.journeyfree.org/articles-manual/).
From struggling with being authentic and revealing her actual self to having difficulties relating to those outside the church, Christa discusses her battles with feeling disconnected and disempowered in certain areas of her life. She outlines how these symptoms impede everything from friendships to making future plans, and how an underdeveloped sense of self has impacted her relationships and sexuality.
Episode 09: The B-Side (Sarah)
Sarah and Christa expand on the Religious Trauma Syndrome symptoms outlined by Dr. Marlene Winell’s three articles discussed on the previous episodes ( https://www.journeyfree.org/articles-manual/).
Sarah discusses the emotional, relational, and physical impacts of the doctrine of original sin and being taught to distrust “the flesh”, police emotions, quarantine thoughts, reject doubts, and continually be vigilant against Satan, the “prowling lion”. She also addresses the lack of tools believers often receive when having to face complex and nuanced real-life situations and the anxiety this can create when trying to navigate both being authentic and doing what is “right” before God.
Episode 08: Signs & Symptoms of RTS
Christa and Sarah discuss Dr. Marlene Winell’s three articles on Religious Trauma Syndrome (RTS), the term which she coined (https://www.journeyfree.org/articles-manual/).
They discuss the very real impacts that leaving a high-demand religion has on a person - socially, somatically, emotionally, and cognitively - and some of the related symptoms that manifest both while coping within rigid belief systems and when attempting to leave. Often framed by the fear of ultimate loss of community and rejection by God, people questioning their faith have extreme difficulty navigating what lies beyond due to the lack of tools and the deep fear of getting it all wrong.
Episode 07: Trauma with a Tiny God
Christa and Sarah discuss intergenerational trauma and how hard it can be to address harmful interpretations and applications of scripture within Church. When God is never changing, people can misapply His constancy as meaning that their human interpretations of the Bible ought not to change as well. When better approaches are dismissed for the sake of keeping the doctrine and community borders static and clearcut, God becomes tiny, but manageable. However, this tiny God and rigid interpretations of Him ensure that harmful and traumatic applications are perpetuated.
Episode 06: This is Us
Christa and Sarah give a “brief” overview of their lives in 3 zoom recordings that Sarah had to edit down to 1. They discuss experience, key events, and throw in a few theological quandaries they had along the way.
Episode 05: Not A Safe Space
In a Part 1&2 combo, Christa and Sarah discuss Christa’s ‘deconstruction’ blogpost that she wrote and posted during the pandemic. They discuss the problem of institutions v. individuals, and how difficult it can be to address systemic problems when there is a gap between individual good intentions and actual result.
Episode 04.2: Fight, Flight…Hustle
Christa and Sarah continue the conversation around the C-PTSD response of “fawning”. They discuss the shame cycle built into the theology of being born a depraved sinner, how difficult it is to question ideas when the standard you’re handed as a child is divine and infallible, and learning to regain a sense of self in whatever space available that allows for open discussion and honesty.
Episode 04.1: Fight, Flight…Bake
Sarah and Christa discuss the Fawn response – one of the complex post traumatic stress disorder reactions that is largely unaddressed, especially in comparison to the more dramatic C-PTSD responses of Fight and Flight. Often referred to as ‘people-pleasing’, this response encapsulates the deep fear of stepping out of place, anticipation of needs, failing perfection, and subsequently worrying about being outside of the church community’s acceptance or, ultimately, God’s salvation.
Episode 03: Let’s Talk About (Sex)uality, Baby
In this episode, Christa and Sarah discuss women’s sexuality within the evangelical frameworks they grew up in and the negative effects these had on their bodies and relationships.
Episode 02: The Birth of Inviting Doom
Christa and Sarah discuss church hindrances to difficult conversations, Job, suffering, and what post-evangelical spaces might look like.
Episode 01: Deconstruction Discussed
Christa and Sarah discuss some of the events that started them on the journey of deconstruction.